By Donaia De Marco
Happy Valentine's day. Yes, February is a month that speaks of love. A question I ask myself is "How far do I dare to let my love take me?" Love seems to be an area where we seem to withhold and set limits. It's an area in which we tend to "keep one side free" almost as if we have a little untouchable zone we can protect. For so many of us, love has become synonymous with hurt and betrayal. We've all been young and foolish. Most of us have been on either end of that stick…betrayer or betrayed. And, yet the miracle is…we keep on loving.
The possibilities of love are enormous. I've heard it called the energy of cohesion. They say unconditional Love is the principle that holds the universe together. Of course, in our new age idealism, we all tried to innocently practice unconditional love…only to be thwarted by our blind acceptance of abuse. Talk about feeling betrayed! And yet we keep on loving. Sometimes in the struggle for every day survival, it's all we have to bring up feelings… either positive or negative…and it's all we have that connects up to something…anything…as we journey alone in the maze or haze of our daily lives. Love is what plugs us into our daily lives whether it is for our work, our one true love, our car, sports, exercise, food or the newest technique, herb, or school of thought.
Yes, you say, but isn't addiction where this is leading. Certainly love can and often does bring us to that…as some of us have discovered. Our penchant to cling to that which is outside of us and our need to talk about "whatever"…whether to agree, think out loud, disagree, convert, put down or sound like a broken record…are the milk that seems to keep us going. Last year, with our warm winter, all I heard up here in New England was an ominous global warming this, global warming that. This year it's been freezing and snowy and no one is mentioning global warming any more. With addiction, the plug-in is fear not love. How often do we love so much that we become obsessed that someone might put a ding in our car door, someone might charge us more than they should, that someone might consider us too fat, too dumb, too smart, too whatever, that someone might leave us?
Love can be simple if we can make it our bottom line in all things. Love seems to be a quality of attention that provides space for another to be and do as they will and that quality inducts the other to a larger space, a higher energy (Richard Moss, MD, The Black Butterfly: An Invitation to Radical Aliveness). What Moss seems to be talking about is a quality of attention that supports another to enjoy themselves and grow in their uniqueness. Agreement has nothing to do with the matter. How often have we felt that what the other is doing is not the best thing for them? And what really was our motive behind that thought? But you would argue what about the safety of a child? Understanding that "where your attention goes, energy flows," isn't it wiser to envision success rather than conjure up images of disaster? At what point in human existence did love come to mean, "I worry about you?" Moss says, "Human beings, in general, are addicted to premature resolution." That seems to be what has happened to love!
What does it mean "to fall" in love? How often have we determined that letting go and surrendering is passive and weak? Moss says, "letting go is an active, dynamic participation with the moment." Egigious writers say the only thing we have to give is ourselves…through our expression and creativity. When we open our hearts, we experience an outpouring of warmth and generosity. We find ourselves in joy! Love seems to be something we rise to rather than something we fall into…like the fall from grace, which is our deepest association with the word "fall." When we can somehow get the limitations of our pre-conceived identity out of the way by letting go in love and trusting the Universe, we experience a release that is uplifting. We experience a spontaneous communion with "All That Is," with Source, with Holy Spirit, with God. We feel the touch of unconditional Love. And, we recognize it as if in remembrance. We smile and intone "ummmmmmm."
February is a good month to contemplate taking our love to a higher and deeper level. As you imagine yourselves at-One-ment with another, breathe and listen. Quiet your mind through meditation and invite the resonance of unity. In the silence, speak the invocation: "Holy Mother/Father God, reveal thyself!" Then the next time you meet who knows what mysteries you may have awakened.
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