By Donaia De Marco
We are just entering August, the month of my birth, and so it is time again for reflection about purpose and presence. When I think about the evolution of consciousness and its relationship to Source, I keep getting sprinkled with the confetti of Mystery. Who would have thought that in all those days of distinguishing ourselves, we would inevitably come to a door of possibility called Oneness with All That Is…where distinctions no longer exist. We are talking about Omnipresence here…merging into a vast unified field that science calls the super force and religion calls God. We can awaken to this Presence and willingly and actively become an integral part of It. Talk about entering the new…what an understatement! When we were babies, our sense of belonging was so alive we felt we almost owned the world. My three and a half year old granddaughter, McMuffin, sometimes rules the roost, and I watch her utter amazement and deep hurt when she gets in-formed by her parents that they are drawing a line with her behavior. When we were very little, we did so march to the beat of a mysterious drum. But awakening in our world was driven by the slings and arrows of pain and suffering, and we started building a separate structure called "I", adapting to the archers in our dramas, shaping our defenses with meticulous pride. We've learned how to survive, and over the years we've cast off many a slacker\abuser. We may have our lives down pat, but somehow something is stirring again and all this structure that was created as "I" feels cumbersome and heavy.
Feeling free…AND…connected up to the Whole…how's that for a fetching combination? I don't know about you, but to me following Spirit as It moves me is a mysterious task, filled with twists and turns I had no idea would occur. My life seems to be a tapestry of song-lines, fault-lines, bye-lines, goal lines and ley-lines. In my awakening consciousness of Self, I find that as I put more and more attention on this Life Force that animates me, ironically the more and more undifferentiated I become. This typical, paradoxical spiritual dilemma makes us sigh and grab our heads. The closer we get to defining "the I that is We" (Richard Moss), the more lost we become in mental body. Confusion reigns…and some pull back in fear. Other hearty souls utilizing breath, prayer and meditation weather the "what if" razor's edge of anxiety and trek out into the unknown where self-concept and fear can be impediments. Love is our only guide. Oh, not the clingy, property, jealous kind of love…but a feeling of warmth, a vision of beauty, a cup of peace, and a brush with truth. The kind of love that is intimate yet not particularly personal. By that, I mean a Love that seems to reside deep within our Essence and emanates out into our world as we allow it and clear the way for it.
Hunt writes in Infinite Mind that fields have their own integrity. Perhaps that's what we've been trying to do with all this ego structure. Was our long ego trip merely a misdirected attempt at integrity? I had a spiritual teacher who taught that humans were originally "Hue-mans." Perhaps as we build this structure called "I", our Light becomes so dense we materialize in this 3-D shape we find ourselves in…separate from each other and longing for reunion with Source. Now, as we direct our attention to reconnecting with Source and practicing the Presence, following Spirit where it leads, we face dissolution. We fear being swallowed up and not wakening up in the belly of a whale. Here's where Will might enter the picture riding high on a steed called "Integrity". If we remember that we are "creators within the Creation", then purpose becomes clearer. We find ourselves willingly doing it as it is coming out of us. Oh, not like when we were kids and had no impulse control…but doing it with grace and faith, letting it flow in a cascade of joy and peace and truth and love…like confetti. Our individual expression of Love has our flavor, our hue, so to speak, and we relish a feeling of home in it. Funny how true expression can spring us into a feeling called home! Imagine finding our Essence, recognizing ourselves as integral to the Whole, and expressing ourselves from that place of serenity.
When I lived on The Cape, my landlords hired a Cape Codder to paint the house I was renting. After a few days of watching, we struck up a conversation together. It seems he had acquainted himself with Zen Buddhism and his grandmother followed Native American traditions. What drew me to him was the way he painted…with precision and care, layering in gentle, even strokes. He exuded a quiet, peaceful air. He spoke of the importance of being able to hold a position in space, and I wondered at the time why that would be a concern. It seemed to me that it was more important to learn to be able to move about in this material, 3-dimensional world we live in. But, as I grow more accustomed to being alone with my Self and more frequently dip my toe into the vastness of Oneness with All That Is, I realize it's vital to have some sense of "I". It's the witness. Perhaps that's what the painter meant by being able to hold a position in space…recording a sense of vitality in our individual expression of the experience of Oneness. What we fear the most in our urge to merge is engulfment, consumption, absorption…overwhelm. Richard Moss in The Second Miracle speaks of becoming aware of this living, felt space which is no longer merely local and shifts the focus of attention from separation to continuity. He says the "I" now becomes referent to infinity," and only Faith will hold us up in the immediacy of such a realization..
Existence seems to be about relationship. I guess we had to establish an "I" so we could have a reference point. Moss speaks of "the natural affirmation of ordinary life" where it seems to me that we get some grounding. Nothing like taking care of whatever's to place us directly in the moment so we can use our new found, expansive insights. I feel we get to relate better with a sense of Oneness. We get a sense of continuity…not greater or lesser…but "as above so below"…when we can recognize the outer as the inner. I just saw the film Being John Malkavich, and when he himself took the $200 trip into his own mind, all he saw were people who looked exactly like himself. In the TNT original film Neurenburg, the Jewish psychologist assigned to the imprisoned Nazi war criminals sighed at the end, "I have discovered what evil is…the absence of empathy." In ordinary life, empathy seems to be a consequence of our evolving experience of Oneness. Namaste, my friend.
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